AntiSocial Fairy Tale
by Mari Grem
Summary: Completed. This is a bunch of oneshots based on the human emotions of love, hate, and everything in between.
1. Jealousy

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: As much as I hate second-person stories, this just kind of hit me like a whirlwind and I wrote it. Please review, flames are accpetable, I probably deserve them.-Cole**

* * *

You have watched him the whole year last year, you went out of your way to see him, you still do. You love his emerald eyes, his beautiful moon-white skin. You adore his black, messy hair and his perfect smile. He is everything you've ever wanted, and he is so much more.

But you didn't think he notices you. You watched as he followed that Chang girl around. But you don't have to worry about Cho anymore, after Sirius' death you know that he will never love Cho again, never could. This doesn't bring you pleasure, because now his heart belongs to Ginny. And you watch as the hug, they kiss. You tell yourself that they are perfect for each other. You tell yourself that you and him were never meant to be, will never be. You convince yourself that this is the case because you need to dull the pain in your heart somehow. And even though it hurts so much every time he smiles at you, you simply smile back and go on to talk about Snorkacks or nargels. And you know that he probably thinks that you are crazy, but you can't stop yourself. You love him and you don't know how to act around him. You've fallen in love with the one boy society won't allow you to have. They won't give you him because he is the hero and you are the freak and it just sounds wrong.

And so you hide your silvery tears, you feign happiness for Ginny. You pretend to love someone else, but you tell your cousins about him, they know of your infatuation with the boy who lived. And they know that you are crazy for it, but they don't say anything.

What you don't know is that he pines for you much like you pine for him. He loves you just as much as you love him. He is your equal in every way, and he needs to see your face. He watches you, he stares at you much like you do him, but fate won't allow your eyes to meet. And when you do stare into his perfect green orbs you simply blush and look away. You didn't know you could blush, but you do because you love him.

He loves you, he needs you, but you don't see that. The world does, Ginny and Hermione, and even Ron and Neville do. Ginny won't admit that her boyfriend loves her best friend and vice versa, but she sees it.

If only you knew, if only you saw his stares, then maybe life wouldn't be so bad. If only he held you, if only you could wipe away his tears, then maybe life would mean something. If only he would say something, then maybe both of you could stop pretending to be oblivious. I know that society doesn't like the idea of the Hero and the Freak, but they never really like fairy-tales anyway.


	2. Destiny is Calling

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: Okay, I know I said one-shot, but I couldn't help it. This will just be a long story filled with non-connected drabbles on my favorite ships ((cannon or not)) So please read and review. Um...I want to thank Paul is Dead for the great constructive criticism. I hope this is a bit better. And to Shion for giving me the idea to continue. If you wanna blame someone blame her! -Cole**

**PS: They will not all be in second-person, I really do hate that type of writing. **

**Ships: Cannon based Harry/Luna**

* * *

You stare at her through the window. She's perfect to you, even though the rest of the world thinks her ugly and plain, you see a side of her that no one else can, that no one else dares to see, and you love her for it.

Yes, you. love. Luna. Lovegood. It's funny really, niether of you saw this coming. In fact, now that you do realize you can't live without that radish-wearing lunatic, you really wish you hadn't because then life would be so much easier and you could keep playing the hero card with out any guilt, any regrets.

But love is confusing, and chaotic, and it will take your semi-normal life and throw it into a twisted loop and you just _can't fight it anymore._

Not that you want to, you've come to accept the feelings you have for the crazy Ravenclaw. And you realize now that even though the world seems a bit more screwed up now that you've met her, you wouldn't want it any other way.

So here you are, in the Astronomy Tower, waiting for her to arrive. You're hoping she does because you realy need to tell her this and you can't bare for her not to know.

And then there's a knock on the door.

And you open the door.

And she sees you and her eyes light up.

And you tell her you love her, that you've always loved her, and that you couldn't bear to let her go.

And she believes you, she always believed you.

And you kiss, such a wonderful kiss.

And you realize that this is love.

And for once in you're life you are truly and genuinely happy. And Voldemort seems non-existant and everything is right in the world.


	3. Hate Myself For Loving You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: Thanks for the ONE review. I hope I get atleast three for this chapter. I know it's not that great, so constructive-critism would be appreciated. I want help with repetitive writting.**

**Ship: Cannon based but not possible in cannon Draco/Hermione mostly one-sided.**

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I love her.

I love her, Hermione.

I love her, Hermione Jane.

I love her, Hermione Jane Granger.

I love her, Hermione Jane Granger, and

I love her, Hermione Jane Granger, and I

I love her, Hermione Jane Granger, and I am

I love her, Hermione Jane Granger, and I am Draco

I love her, Hermione Jane Granger, and I am Draco Lucius

I love her, Hermione Jane Granger, and I am Draco Lucius Malfoy.

Got it? Good. See, I knew not everyone in this whole fucked up world was totally incapable of understanding human speech. Yes, I love Hermione Granger, her eyes, her hair, her brain, her spirit, I love everything about that goddamned mudblood.

And I hate it.

I'm not supposed to love her, I'm supposed to hate her. However, I'm also not supposed to be a spy for the Order or the first 'good' Malfoy since my thrid great-grandfather.

So I guess this was bound to happen.

The only problem is, she doesn't love me. Never has, never will. She thinks of me as the dirty little ferret that has made her, Weasley, and Potter's lives hell since the moment we met.

But there are times when I see her smile at me, or look at me with some strange expression on her face and I pray that she loves me back. There are times when we accidently touch and I feel sparks I never knew existed.

I know, deep down, she feels something too. But she'll never give into that impulse, because I'm evil and she's light. And it just wasn't meant to be.

But I love her all the same.


	4. Slit My Wrists and Black My Eyes

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews Pouring((I miss Loonie)) and Potter.**

**Ship: Ginny/Tom M. Riddle ((I have no idea why I did this.))**

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There are nights when I lie awake trying to figure out how the hell I fell for him. I mean, he's evil, he is pure evil. He is the essence of the word evil. People fear him so much they can't even say his name. He is _that_ evil.

Yet still I find myself drawn to him. He is like the part of me I wish I had but really don't. Like the puzzle piece that was never actually missing. He's something I can't have but don't need.

Now I have successfull confused the hell out of myself.

The thing is, I love him, even though I _know_ I shouldn't. Even though it goes against _all_ of my morals and everything I've _ever_ believed in. It's a complete disrespect to my family, to my friends, to all the people I've ever met besides him and his faithful followers.

The sick thing is, he loves me too. In a sick, totally fucked up way I too am the object of his desire. I need him, yet I don't. I don't need him because all it will lead to is pain, and hurt, and death. Most definetely death. But I need him all the same because he opens up a whole new world to me and he understands me like no one else ever has.

And it scares me because we're so alike it's bloody terrifying.

But I won't be like him, I won't go dark, I won't kill innocents.

But that doesn't really matter. Because he is him. And he is dark. And he does kill innocents. And even though I know that if I asked him to stop he would drop these games like a bad habit, even though I know that with one word I could save so many, many people. _I just don't care._

Because then he wouldn't be the person he is today. Then he wouldn't be so dark, so evil, so perfect.

Because then he wouldn't be my Tom and I...I wouldn't be his Ice Princess.


	5. You Kill Me Well

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: Thanks for the review Pouring, I like Ginny with Tom too, I just don't know why. It's a bit too cliche for me...PLease review-Cole.**

**Ship: Cannon-based Sirius/Bella WARNING! INCEST((SORT OF)) I saw cannon based because I do think that this is possible in cannon, I think it's ten times more possible than Sirius/Remus and Remus/Tonks.**

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"I love you Bellatrix," Sirius stated quietly as they held hands near the lake. It was four in the morning on the first day of Christmas Holidays and they were both certain they would not be seen. Bellatrix had stayed at Hogwarts for the winter recess due to the induction of Lucius Malfoy into Voldemort's ranks. Her parents and Narcissa had gone to see their future son-in-law, and husband, be inducted. Sirius was there becuase he and James would not be leaving until tomorrow, with Lily, since James did not want to leave his 'Lily Flower' alone.

"I love you too, Sirius," Bellatrix replied, rubbing her cousin's hand comfortingly. The two cousins had realized they loved eachother in the beginning of their fourth year, and they had been together secretly ever since. Bellatrix was drawn to Sirius's rebellious attitude and his 'good' side while Sirius fell for the darkness within Bellatrix and the very essence of her heart.

"Run away with me?" Sirius asked for the two-thousand and fiftieth time since they were ten years old, "Run away from all of this, from Dark Lords and Crazy families and fucked up expectations?"

"You've already left them all behind," Bellatrix replied as she ran a hand through her black hair, "You've already ran away from everything you ever were and everything you ever will be and you know you can't fight it Siri, don't you?"

"I have to fight it," Sirius replied as tears graced his eyes with their prescence. He hadn't wanted to leave Bellatrix, nor his family for that matter, but he needed to fight against the darkness that resided in his soul, he had to be the good-guy. He couldn't disappoint all those who were counting on him. "I have to try and do the right thing, I won't allow the Dark Lord another minion, no matter how hard it is for me to fight these inner battles, I have to, someone does."

"But why you?" Bellatrix cried, her eyes filled with tears and sorrow, "Why does it always have to be you? Andi already left, why do you have to follow? Come back, Siri, come back and take the mark and everything will be alright."

"Bella, we both know you don't want the mark and that you're just too weak, too afraid, too proper to leave," Sirius countered, pulling his 'black rose' closer to him, "Why take from me the chance you've longed for al your life?"

"Because then we could be together, atleast see eachother and speak to eachother in public. I'm so tired of hiding this," Bellatrix replied, burying her face in her lover's chest.

"And what do you think would happen even if I had the mark? We would still have to hide our relationship, if we didn't we'd both be dead. Fairy tales don't exist in reality, sweet Bella, you have to understand that," Sirius replied firmly yet soothingly.

"I know," Bellatrix said, as tears ran down her white face, "I know I just hate all of this."

"As do I," Sirius replied before pulling her closer and apparating them back to an empty Gryffindor dorm room.

"Promise me something," Bellatrix said as they laid down to sleep.

"What?" Sirius replied, stripping down to his knickers.

"No matter what, no matter who we marry or where life takes us, or what we do to eachother. Promise me you'll never stop loving me," Bellatrix stated, "'Cuz I could never stop loving you."

"No matter what, I could never stop loving you Bella, no matter what," Sirius replied, then they snuggled together and fell asleep.

Almost twenty years later, Bellatrix and Sirius were caught in a duel to the death. Bella had joined Voldemort and was now his right-hand woman. Sirius had been frmaed for the murder of his best friends and had just broken out of Azkaban.

They did not want to be in this fight, but they knew it would happen sooner or later. Sirius could tell Bellatrix's heart wasn't in it, and honestly, neither was his. They were both shooting meaningless spells, the worst so far had been the leg-locker curse, which Sirius had dodged wonderfully.

"Is that the best you can do?" Sirius mocked his true love as she sent a simple curse at him. This got Bellatrix a little upset, but not enough to use any major curses.

She simply smiled at him, a sweet loving smile, and shut Stupify at him, hoping to knock him out.

What she hadn't expected was the veil to be there.

What she hadn't expected was the look of pure fear on Sirius's face.

What she hadn't expected was Potter to cry out for his dying godfather.

What she hadn't expected was for Sirius to die that night.

And what she definetly hadn't expected was for tears to fall down her face.

Bellatrix hadn't cried in fifteen years, not since she had recieved news that Sirius was in Azkaban for a crime he did not commit. But now she was crying, and no one could know this. So she went after Potter, figuring she could vent her pain on him. Instead Dumbledore was there. And while she wanted to beg for his forgiveness, all she could do was taunt the old man and then leave with her lord.

As much as Bellatrix wanted to run-away with Sirius, she knew she was too weak, too docile.

And she never got the chance until her death.


	6. I Cant Make it One my Own

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. **

**A/N: Yeah, well...I really am not a fan of Hermione/Ron. I mean, I do want them to get together and everything, but only because JK's made it clear that they will be and the only person I really want Mione with is Draco and JK said that's not happening. Please rnr-Cole**

**P.S.: Pouring Rain, I love Sirius/Bella, it's just so perfect!**

**Ships: Ron/Hermione**

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Ronald Billius Weasley feared love. He was terrified by it. He had grown up with love, with feeling love and getting love and giving love, but he was afraid of being _in_ love with say...a girl. 

Yeah, he's had crushes before. But those were just that, _crushes_. He had never really felt true love before, and now that he finally realized that he loved her, he was seriously hyperventalating.

He was not supposed to fall in love. He was supposed to be the one who laughed at the _rest of them_ for falling in love. This was not supposed to happen.

But then again, Harry and Luna was not _supposed_ to happen, Mr. and Mrs. Potter were not _supposed_ to die, and Voldemort was certainly not _supposed _to come back.

So, of course, Ron falling in-love was inevitable.

But falling in love with her, his best friend, that was just plain crazy. Yeah, he knew that he was a little more shy around her than Harry, he knew he didn't love her the way Harry did, he knew he was never as close to her as Harry was, but he didn't know he loved her.

Seriously, she wasn't even that pretty.

I mean, she had this horribly frizzy hair, she was way too short, she definetly would never fill-out right, and her eyes were mud-colored and ugly.

But to him, to him her hair was beautifully wild, she was pleasently petite, he liked the way she looked human instead of super-model-ish, and to him, her eyes were almonds in piled of snow.

He knew that he loved her, and he knew that he shouldn't because this was his best-friend and relationships liked these never did work out.

But sometimes, when he locked eyes with her and she blushed and turned away, he figured if he had enough courage to actually ask her out, well...things might actulally work out for them.


	7. In Spite of Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: Okay, this is one of three on Draco/Pansy. All three will be posted tonight. Please review-Cole**

**Ship: cannon based Draco/Pansy**

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She was tired of living in a shadow, she wanted to be seen. She would always be there for him, but she wanted someone to notice her too. She knew that deep down he loved her, though he never said it aloud. She knew that he needed her as she did him, she never quire knew how.

He was always with another girl. A sexy, stupid bitch. Most of the time they could run circles around her for looks, but they couldn't hold a candle to her with wit or brains. She let it go, she always had. She knew that in the end she was the only one for him. She knew that in the end those flings were pointless and she was the only on he ever cared about.

The only one he would risk his life for.

It had happened at a Death Eater meeting right after their initiation. His father had almost killed her because she said something disrespectful to their 'Great Lord'. He, her true knight in shining armour, came to her rescue by jumping in front of the spell. Crucio did not due much to her blonde hero, but it did hurt him all the same, and she was greatful he cared enough to take such a horrible spell for her.

But still, it hurt her everytime a new slut would walk out of his rooms in the early hours of the morning. Each and every whore gave her a large, I-have-what-you-want smile when they passed her on the common-room couch, where she spent most of her nights. They didn't know that he always bgave her a good-morning kiss though. They didn't know that it was she he professed his undying love to each night before his daily shag with his newest sex toy.

Sometimes she didn't think it was fair. She had to keep her virginity while he shagged everything that moved. But atleast he was always hers in the end, at least she was certain he would never leave her.

Yet sometimes, late at night, she wondered if this was the life she wanted. She wondered if being a spy for the Order really meant something to her. She wondered if being in love with him but not doing anything with him was the life she had planned out for herself.

Sometimes, when she laid awake at night, Pansy Parkinson looked out the window and wondered how her life would be played out, and who, in the end, would win.


	8. Drowning In You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: The second Draco/Pansy. Please read and review-Cole**

**Ship: Pansy/Draco**

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She was tired of living in a shadow, she wanted to be seen. She would always be there for him, but she wanted someone to notice her too. She knew that deep down he loved her, though he never said it aloud. She knew that he needed her as she did him, she never quire knew how.

He was always with another girl. A sexy, stupid bitch. Most of the time they could run circles around her for looks, but they couldn't hold a candle to her with wit or brains. She let it go, she always had. She knew that in the end she was the only one for him. She knew that in the end those flings were pointless and she was the only on he ever cared about.

The only one he would risk his life for.

It had happened at a Death Eater meeting right after their initiation. His father had almost killed her because she said something disrespectful to their 'Great Lord'. He, her true knight in shining armour, came to her rescue by jumping in front of the spell. Crucio did not due much to her blonde hero, but it did hurt him all the same, and she was greatful he cared enough to take such a horrible spell for her.

But still, it hurt her everytime a new slut would walk out of his rooms in the early hours of the morning. Each and every whore gave her a large, I-have-what-you-want smile when they passed her on the common-room couch, where she spent most of her nights. They didn't know that he always bgave her a good-morning kiss though. They didn't know that it was she he professed his undying love to each night before his daily shag with his newest sex toy.

Sometimes she didn't think it was fair. She had to keep her virginity while he shagged everything that moved. But atleast he was always hers in the end, at least she was certain he would never leave her.

Yet sometimes, late at night, she wondered if this was the life she wanted. She wondered if being a spy for the Order really meant something to her. She wondered if being in love with him but not doing anything with him was the life she had planned out for herself.

Sometimes, when she laid awake at night, Pansy Parkinson looked out the window and wondered how her life would be played out, and who, in the end, would win.


	9. Forget About the Dirty Looks

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: The last of the three Draco/Pansys. More stories tomorrow. One-shots to be posted tonight. -Cole**

**Ship: Draco/Pansy**

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They hate each other. She hates him more than he hates his father and he swear that the feeling is mutual. She hates the way he always talks to her like she's five years old instead of thirteen like she really is, fourteen next fall. She hates the way his perfect bleach-blonde hair falls into his perfect diamond-gray eyes. She hates his smirk and the way his eyes light up whenever they argue. She hates him.

And he hates her. He hates the way she acts like a three year old and complains about every bloody thing. He hates the way she's always competeing with him, the way their always in constant competition. He hates the way her wavy brown hair is always tied back in a loose bun and her brown eyes are so dark their almost black. Just like his heart. He hates her.

But slowly things change and when the Yule Ball comes around he asks her, because really there isn't any one else to ask and she's not that bad looking, even if people do say she looks like a pug. And then they kiss and it isn't like his daily snogs in the hall way, no it's nothing like those. It's soft and passionate and wild and lively all in one. It's desperate and accepting and so bloody beautiful that they want to savour it forever.

And by fifth year they're ten times closer than they ever were because now the war is starting up again. And they're going to have to choose sides and neither likes Voldemort very much but they don't have a choice really. So they pretend and they pretend well. And they realize that they can't hate eachother any more because, really, they're the only true friends they've ever had.

By sixth year they've been classified as boyfriend and girlfriend though neither would call their relationship dating. They're more like best friends or something of that nature. Crabbe and Goyle were never on equal fields with him and Millicent was never good enough for her really. So they realize that if anything they're exactly alike. And they realize that that's why they had hated eachother so much in the beginning, because they're exactly alike and it was always competetion to be better than the other when really that was impossible.

He proposes formally at Christmas of their seventh year and she formally accepts. Then the Final Battle happens and they switch sides at the last moment and it's because of them that Voldemort's gone. Even Potter will admit to that. But Pansy was knocked unconcious for a year and Draco would visit Mungo's every day. And then she woke up and they were married.

They're relationship was built off hate and desperation. They don't know why they formed a friendship, they suspect it was because they're so alike it's uncanny. But really it's because their parents never loved them, not really. Really it's because they were equals in every way. Really it was because she's ugly and he's not particuallrly good with tradtition. Really it's because they gave up everything to help the light side. In reality, the only reason they're together is they didn't have anything, or anyone, else.


	10. Last Shot of Redemption

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: Sorry for not updating, please read, enjoy, and review! -Cole**

**Ship: Lucius/Narcissa**

* * *

She hates him. He knows that, she knows that, but neiher would ever admit it. She hates him more than life itself, and considering she's attempted suicide twice that has to be a very large amount of hate.

He ruined her. He made her who she is today. He took her innocence and twisted it and contorted it until it was so fucked up that she wasn't even tainted, she wasn't even impure, she was just ruined, shattered, broken.

He broke her, and he knew it, and that was what sickened her the most. He didn't even care as long as he had her everything would be okay.

Because in some sick way he loved her even though she hated him beyond all reason he needed her and loved her twice as much. He might have been a cold and heartless Malfoy but she was everything to him and he knew it.

And that was why when she finally decided death was the only way out he killed her. That was why he was in Azkaban. That was why he is slowly dying inside without her.

Because Lucius loved his beautiful blonde wife. And even though he usually shagged everything that moved, she was the only thing he ever loved. The only thing that ever arose anything with in him.

And he knew that he was the only one who ever brought on any passion in her. So she could hate him, he didn't care, as long as she still felt something towards him he could stay sane.

But now she was dead, and insanity was his only release.


	11. Ready To Show Now

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: Really freaky, I have no idea where this came from. Please review-Cole**

**Ship: Hermione/Ginny**

**WARNING, FEMALE SLASH!**

* * *

This should not be happening, this should definetly not be happening. I never believed that this would be happening, it is not plausible and therefore should not be happening, WHY THE HELL IS THIS HAPPENING?

I am kissing Ginevra Weasley, a girl, as in female, as in the same bloody gender as I am, and I am bloody well enjoying it! I have never, before the present time, ever been even slightly interested in the idea of homosexuality. I mean, I was never against it or anything, but I never really believed in it either. Now...now I'm experiencing it first hadn and the fact that it feels so goddamned good isn't helping me with fighting off the desire to continue the kiss.

She's leading me into the bedroom now. She's on top of me and she's taking off my shirt and it just feels so good.

But I push her off, having finally gathered the courage to do so, and tell her that this is going to fast, that I didn't even realize I liked her until we kissed. And she smiles at me and says that's funny because she's known all along.

And her red hair falls into her face and she gives me another kiss and tells me that she would wait for me forever. And I realize that as bad as it may seem it's perfect. It's right even though it seems wrong. And I realize I love her.

I give her a kiss this time and we link hands and make our way down to the Great Hall. I know that by this time tomorrow everyone will know that I love her, but I really don't care anymore.


	12. Choking On Your Allibi

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: I know it's been a while, but I've been working on original fiction and reading actual books, so I kind of dropped off the face of Um...I'm back.-Cole**

**Ship: Draco/Ginny**

* * *

Every night, every single night, she meets him in the hallways. Every night she follows him to his room and they talk and make love for hours. Every night is so perfect to her, means so much to her, he is everything to her.

But it kills her because even though she's walking on air after every encounter, he doesn't care. It doesn't effect him at all. It's like nothing happened. And his nochalance _kills_ her because she wants him to love her, atleast _pretend_ to love her, because she _knows_ that she loves him and needs him and wants him.

And now they're lying side-by-side and his hands are running through her hair as she slowly falls asleep and just as her eyes close he tells her those three words she's been dying to hear for the last year. He says, "I love you," and he means it, really he does. He's just never known love, never understood love, never loved at all, so this is all new to him and he has to act like it doesn't effect him because really it's burning up inside of him. And nonchalance was always his weapon for everything.

And two years later, he finds himself on one knee with a diamond ring in his hand. "Ginevra," he says. Because it was always Ginevra, never Ginny or Gin, those were too immature for his queen, always Ginevra. "Ginevra will you marry me."

And she smiles at him and kisses him and just as he's about to put the ring on her finger she turns away and says, "No."

And he understands. Of course he understands. He could give her love, protection, anything she could ever want. But he couldn't give her freedom, or acceptance, or friendship, or truth, or equality.

And they finally understand that even though they tried so hard to make this relationship work, they weren't meant to be. Fated to fall in love but destined to be apart. Fate had always hated them any way.

So he watches her marry Longbottom, because the fat bloke was always infactuated with his fiery beauty, and while everyone else is crying tears of happiness for the new couple, he lets a lone, silver tear roll down his face.

Because now he finally realizes, that even though he wanted this so much, wanted her so much, needed her so much. _Loved_ her so much. Sometimes love just wasn't enough.


	13. Be My Escape

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**A/N: This is, by far, my absolute fav couple. Of course, I doubt it will be in cannon, so Harry/Luna gets my favorite cannon-based, but I just love these two. Please review-Cole**

**Ship: Harry/Pansy**

* * *

You two were bron to hate each other. It's obvious really. Exact opposites, yet so alike it's terryfying. He's a Gryffindor, brave and noble and...and perfect really, you can't explain it much better than that. And you, you're a Slytherin...cold and weak and...and a hypocrite. You pretend to be a huge supporter of the dark arts when really you dispise Voldemort and everything he's ever said.

But that's not the only problem. It's also the fact that you tied for fifth in class. It's also the fact that you were second choice for Head Girl while he is Head Boy. It's also the fact that you can fly just as good as him, but your parents would kill you if you so much as _touched_ a broom after first year. It's also the fact that the whole school would exile the both of you if they ever found out you had _any_ feelings for each other. _That's_ why you can't be with him, sometimes love really _isn't _enough.

Yet, that doesn't explain why you're here now. Why you're waiting in the Astronomy Tower after telling him to meet you here. It doesn't explain why he's just walked through the door and why you're spilling your guts out to a _gryffindor_. It doesn't explain why he's kissing you now or why you're responding. And why this feels so perfect, so god damn perfect.

And now, now while the two of you walk hand in hand to the Great Hall. And the whole hall stops dead to stare at you. It's like everything's falling into place. You _know_ this is going to be dangerous, but he'll protect you. And you'll protect him, because he can't protect everyone. He's not really a god, he's just a kid that's being forced to do a man's job. And you swear that you're going to protect him, not only from Voldemort, not only from the world, but from himself.


	14. Open Up My Eager Eyes

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: DO NOT ASK! I have absolutely NO idea what is wrong with this but it is so off, so absolutely pathetic, that I am ashamed. However, I needed a Ginny/Neville piece, so here it is. Flames will be used to keep me warm-Cole**

**Ship: Neville/Ginny**

* * *

She's not dead, she's not dead, she's not dead, she's not dead. WHY THE HELL IS SHE DEAD? 

Now that was a very good question.

Why was the only person who ever understood me, the only girl to ever really love me dead?

WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?

Simple, really, first I loose my parents to insanity, then Voldemort comes back and kills them, and now Ginny, dear sweet Ginny, is dead.

Someone up there must hate me.

It's funny becuase here we are, at her funeral, and Draco Malfoy is crying harder than I am. And now everyone is leaving, even the Weasleys have gone, but still Malfoy and I remain. The bloody git wasn't even invited and he can't be here out of guilt, he didn't even kill her. That was Bellatrix Lestrange.

Lestrange drove my parents to insanity, Lestrange killed Harry's godfather, her own cousin, but that wasn' enough, she had to ruin my life too. And so she killed Ginny.

But that still doesn't explain why Malfoy is here. That still doesn't explain why he continues to cry his eyes out over someone he should hate. Nothing explains why he seems more hurt than I am. _I_ was the one bethrothed to her, _I_ was the one to loose the only person who saw through all my faults and loved me for who I was, not who I wasn't or who I should've been. Why was Draco Bloody Malfoy still here?


	15. Being What You Want Me To Be

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Numb by Linkin Park**

**Warning: Ready...wait for it...this...wait, wait...is...oh my fucking god!...THIS IS SLASH **

**A/N: Mild slash. Song fic. I hope you like it.**

**Ship: Harry/Draco**

**Bold: Draco**

_Italicized: Song lyrics_

Underlined: Harry

Regular: Third person documentary.

_

* * *

I'm tired of being what you want me to be _

I've given up. I'm tired of being the hero, I'm tired of being something I know I'm not. I am _not_ a hero. I am _not_ a savior. I can't even keep a father figure for more than two years. I don't want to do this anymore, I don't want to be their hero.

_Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface_

**I don't even believe in this anymore, I'm beginning to doubt I ever did. Why would anyone place their life in the hand of a sadistic old bastard when a smart, talented, lucky-as-shit teenager is the one pinned against said sadistic old guy? It feels as if I'm stuck here, not able to break through and show my true colors.**

_I don't know what you're expecting of me_

I don't even know what they want me to do anymore. They expect me to save the world but they refuse to tell me things I need to know. They refuse to train me. It's as if they expect me to just know what the fuck I'm doing. News Flash: I don't. 

_Feeling the pressure of walking in your shoes._

**I never wanted to be like my father. Never. My father is a heartless, cold bastard. Everyone expects me to be just like him. They molded me to be his mirror-image. Well now I've realized this, and I want out!**

_((Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone))_

I can't break out, I can't break free. They're holding on to me and they won't let me go.

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you._

**Even when I tried to be daddy's little clone I always screwed up. No matter what I couldn't make him happy. **

_((Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone))_

They have to let go.

**They just have to let m_e _go**

_I've become so numb_

I can't let it affect me anymore. I just have to go with it. I can't feel the pain anymore. I won't allow myself to feel the pain.

**I've given up on emotion. To feel is weak. And I will not be weak.**

_I can't feel you there_

**And I never did realize that you were right in front of me all along. I never knew that you were right there, willing to help me all along.**

_I've become so tired_

So many sleepless nights. So many nights spent up in the owlery going over different spells. Hermione checks the Room of Requirement too much, she would see the blood, my blood. I always train too hard.

But to train less could mean death.

**So many nights roaming the dungeons. So many nights looking out into the starless sky trying to figure out how I'm getting out of here.**

_So much more aware._

I can feel him. He's always there, always watching. They both are. Dumbledore and Voldemort hate each other, do they not realize how alike they are? Every step I take is watched. I can feel it, sense it in a way. 

**He has spies all over. My father and Voldemort have the whole world in their pockets. **

**It's killing me**

_I'm beoming this_

**I will break free. I will be my own person. And you will help me.**

_All I want to do Is be more like me _

_And be less like you._

**I just want to be myself. I don't want to be my father. **I don't want to be another Dumbeldore. **I just want to be with you.**

_Can't you see that you're smothering me?_

**They try to keep me under control. They try to keep me in their grasp. They're smothering me. I can't breathe. I can't. **

**He put life back into me. He made them let me go.**

Holding too tightly afraid to loose control.

He watches me, they all watch me. I feel like a china doll. And their my owners. They hold me, show me off, and then they squeeze to tightly and I shatter. 

He put me back together.

_Cause all the things that you thought I would_ _be_

**They expect me to be a carbon copy of my father.**

They expect me to be a carbon copy of Dumbledore.

Are falling apart right infront of you.

**But I'll never be my father, evil sadistic bastard that he is.**

But I will never Dumbledore, coniving manipulative fool that he is.

_((Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone))_

**They just won't let me go, I can't break free.**

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you._

I fight him, I win, and yet I still screw up.

_((Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone))_

**I want you to hold me, I want you to accept me. I need you to redeem me.**

_And ever moment I waste is more than I can take._

Harry leaned in, he wanted to kiss Draco, he needed the blonde boy. He wanted him with a passion. Just a little closer...

_I've become so numb_

I can't let it affect me anymore. I just have to go with it. I can't feel the pain anymore. I won't allow myself to feel the pain.

**I've given up on emotion. To feel is weak. And I will not be weak.**

_I can't feel you there_

**And I never did realize that you were right in front of me all along. I never knew that you were right there, willing to help me all along.**

_I've become so tired_

So many sleepless nights. So many nights spent up in the owlery going over different spells. Hermione checks the Room of Requirement too much, she would see the blood, my blood. I always train too hard.

But to train less could mean death.

**So many nights roaming the dungeons. So many nights looking out into the starless sky trying to figure out how I'm getting out of here.**

_So much more aware._

I can feel him. He's always there, always watching. They both are. Dumbledore and Voldemort hate each other, do they not realize how alike they are? Every step I take is watched. I can feel it, sense it in a way. 

**He has spies all over. My father and Voldemort have the whole world in their pockets. **

**It's killing me**

_I'm beoming this_

**I will break free. I will be my own person. And you will help me.**

_All I want to do Is be more like me _

_And be less like you._

**I just want to be myself. I don't want to be my father. **I don't want to be another Dumbeldore. **I just want to be with you.**

_And I know _

Draco leaned in more. Suddenly, their lips were touching. A passion neither knew existed sprouted from the kiss.

_That I may end up failing too_

Tomorrow was uncertain. Tomorrow they could both die. But for tonight they weren't failures. Tonight Dumbledore, Voldemort, and Lucius seemed the evil monsters in fairy tales.

_And I know That you were just like me_

And Sir Nicholas De Ramsy and the Bloody Baron looked on in awe. For they knew what this would lead to. They remembered another fiery Gryffindor and another cold Slytherin.

_With someone disappointed in you._

No one wanted Lily Evans and Severu Snape to be together. Every one was dissapointed in Lily's desion. And Lily left Severus.

_I've become so numb_

I can't let it affect me anymore. I just have to go with it. I can't feel the pain anymore. I won't allow myself to feel the pain.

**I've given up on emotion. To feel is weak. And I will not be weak.**

_I can't feel you there_

**And I never did realize that you were right in front of me all along. I never knew that you were right there, willing to help me all along.**

_I've become so tired_

So many sleepless nights. So many nights spent up in the owlery going over different spells. Hermione checks the Room of Requirement too much, she would see the blood, my blood. I always train too hard.

But to train less could mean death.

**So many nights roaming the dungeons. So many nights looking out into the starless sky trying to figure out how I'm getting out of here.**

_So much more aware._

I can feel him. He's always there, always watching. They both are. Dumbledore and Voldemort hate each other, do they not realize how alike they are? Every step I take is watched. I can feel it, sense it in a way. 

**He has spies all over. My father and Voldemort have the whole world in their pockets. **

**It's killing me**

_I'm beoming this_

**I will break free. I will be my own person. And you will help me.**

_All I want to do Is be more like me _

_And be less like you._

**I just want to be myself. I don't want to be my father. **I don't want to be another Dumbeldore. **I just want to be with you.**

_I've become so numb_

The ghosts looked at each other. Both boys didn't care any more. But there was still a war out there. There was still peer-pressure and world-pressure.

_I can't feel you there_

The two boys didn't realize the ghosts were there. But they were, always there, always watching. Even after the war. Even after everything was over.

_Tired of being what you want me to_ _be_

Harry deepened the kiss and was now ontop of Draco. This was it. He was done with the world. He was tired of being the hero.

_I've become so numb_

_I can't feel you there_

_Tired of being what you want me to be_

**You set me free, you're everything I've ever wanted to be.**

**I love you.**


	16. I love you all

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: I hope you like this one, it;s really about the Marauders and their girlfriends...**

**Pairings: Lily/James Emma/Sirius Hestia/Remus All canon-based **

* * *

It's December now. The snow is falling perfectly and I can't wait to go outside with James and Sirius and Emma to make snowangels and the such. James will take me to the lake and we'll go skating while Sirius and Emma make their own warmth under the tree. James never was the romantic where as Sirius has romance embedded in his blood.

Not that I mind, not really, because when you date one Marauder you date them all. I've been going steady with James for two months now, ever since that Halloween night when he found me crying and showed me a side of him I didn't think existed. James is always so cocky, so arrogant. He does whatever he wants and gets away with it. I never expected him to be compassionate and caring. Never expected the Prince Charming I've recently found.

Sirius is also arrogant, maybe even more so than James. Sirius and James are twins in every sense of the word but blood. They both have black hair, although Sirius's is long and wavy where as James's is short and wild. They are both arrogant, fun loving, and ingenius. And they are both man-whores. Or were, Emma and I have them straightened out. In fact, the only difference is that Sirius has these gray eyes that look like pools of mercury where as James's are hazel like chesnuts.

The only Marauder I could stand before this year, because that's what they call themselves, "The Marauders", was Remus. Remus is kind and smart, but he's arrogant too. Even the nicest guy would be arrogant after spending a few weeks with the Marauders. But yes, Remus and I used to study together and even though everyone expected James and I to hook up eventually, they all knew that if I didn't loose my stubborn streak it would be Remus I would fall for. He has grayish-brown hair that falls in front of his eyes and down to the nape of his neck with grayish-hazel eyes. He's so sweet that you would never expect his tranformations every full-moon. Yes, Remus Lupin is a werewolf. And I don't pity him, he doesn't want pity, but I do help him as much as I can.

Last but not least is Peter. Peter is the sweet, innocent, everyone-loves-me type of boy. He's a little big-boned, but not fat or anything, he has straw-colored hair and big blue eyes that can get anything from anyone. He's also the type that would do anything to make you smile. Once, a few weeks after my parents died last year, Peter started doing magic tricks in the commonroom. He usually ended with a broken bone or two, but it never bothered him. "As long as you're happy, Lils, don't mind."

And all of them are there for me now. James walks me to every class and holds my hand while stealing kisses in dark corridors. Sirius takes me flying every Sunday night while Emma and James have to go down to the Defense Room for their club. Remus and I discuss books that we read almost every day while Hestia and James sit in the back and talk about Quidditch and how they're going to win the next game. Peter will do anything to make me smile. I envy Paula for having such a great boyfriend.

The only thing that worries me now is graduation. I'm afraid of going out into the world because that would mean fighting for our very lives. And lately Peter's been acting a bit strange and Sirius is always looking over his shoulder as if expecting his cousins to beat him up or something. Remus is filling out more paper work than anyone can handle so the Ministry doesn't lock him up for being a 'dark creature'. And James, well James is trying hard to live up to his father's standards. But it's hard when your father was the best.

Me, I'm just trying to make it through the next day. But I now this much, James will enver leave me, not now, not ever. The world could come crashing down upon us and still he would love me. Everyone saw us together except me, but now I see what they see and I wouldn't leave him for the world.


End file.
